Sunday, January 10, 2010

Mama's Boy?

From Lauren:

Angie, what is your take on this? My boyfriend is 19 years old, and he still asks his mother permission for EVERYTHING. Before inviting me out to family events (shouldn't a girlfriend be an automatic "+ 1" ?), before taking me out on a date, before FEEDING ME (i.e., heating up a pizza) when I come over. This seems a bit ridiculous. How do I get him to realize he's a man and can be more decisive?

I'm assuming that by the lack of the phrase "only" before "19 years old", you're around the same age as your boy, right? So I'm going to venture to guess that you may not be as grown up and mature as you want me to believe. Listen, you're dating a guy that still lives at home, which is perfectly normal for his age. Do you have any idea what it's like to raise teenagers? Neither do I, but I imagine it must be nice for them to be so respectful.
Put yourself in his mom's shoes for a second. You have a son, possibly in college, who has a clearly demanding girlfriend. How about you show a little appreciation when you're invited into their home and into their lives?
Fact is, expecting your guy to act like an independent 30-year-old at 19 is just not fair, and treating him like the "man" you want him to be will only likely result in him resenting you for forcing him to grow up during what SHOULD be the best years of his life.
Chill out, huh?

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